When I first arrived Europe, I told my friends that I would fly back home during summer break. Then, after finishing my first year in Italy, I travelled around and flew directly to Sweden to study my second year.
One of my friends told me when we met that he would not fly back home, but he would travel around Europe. Then, he was the first one who flew back home immediately after finishing the first year in Italy.
Another friend, whom I met during her second year in Italy, told me that she would return to her home country after graduated from the university. Now, she is doing her PhD in Italy.
A year passed, it seemed like no one did like we planned.
In the past, I loved planning my life out, but usually my life did not go as I planned. There are many factors that we could not control coming to our lives and we also change all the time. Before going to Europe, my intention was to find a job in Europe after getting master degrees and spend time there for 4 to 5 years. But, when I was about to graduate, I was not sure I still wanted to do so.
“What would you do after graduated?” my advisor asked me while we were discussing about my thesis.
“I do not know. I am confused”
She laughed and she told me that she understood. On that day we talked a lot. I told her my first intention, and told her that I hesitate because my family and friends were in Thailand.
She told me that “Everything has a price to pay”
It is true. She made me more confused by asking me one more question.
“Do you want to do PhD?”
She gave me the detail that things I had to do to get a PhD and what I would get during study.
“What would I do after that?” I asked her back.
She laughed and told me her story. It was not an easy for her as well to decide to study PhD. On that day, she told me to finish the thesis first, and think about this later. We did not talk about this again.
When I was about to graduate, I felt I wanted to go home more and more. When I was at home, I wanted to travel, and when I traveled I wanted to be home.
I thought my life needed a balance.